If I wasn't a writer, I'd probably be....; 17 Desember 2019
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Assalammualaikum Ladies,
I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'll do if we ever close, or have to close, AA. I think it's due largely to the fact that some of the people around me have told me that they are either quitting their jobs, changing their roles, or even closing the 16-year old business that they've come to love and cherish. And it affected me because whether we like it or not, we as a society have been led into thinking that what we do as a profession contributes a big part to our identity, and I relate to that because a huge part of what makes me Aida, is this work that I do.
One of the ladies on our AA Plus Community shared something super interesting in our Live Hangouts just last weekend. She said, "if you were to remove your job, and your family and friends, what are you left with? Who are you, outside these titles?" And that stumped me because I've always associated myself with my work; when someone asks me, "So Aida, tell me about yourself", the first thing I'll always say, sometimes shyly, sometimes with pride, "Oh! I'm a writer!"
So after days of trying to figure out what would I actually do if I cannot write for a living, the first thing that came to my mind was, "I'll clean."
I had a little laugh by myself about my answer, but after giving it a few deep thoughts about it, I realised that the act of cleaning, is not just merely dusting or rubbing off stains in a physical space, it's an act that, when done sincerely, have always led me back to Him.
I have always loved to clean. The first order of the day before I even sit down to start work will always be to wipe my desk and arrange my books and my accessories. I tell myself, "if you want to do honourable work, honour your working environment." When I'm particularly stressed about something, I'll clean. I'll sweep the floors of my home, I'll clean my windows, I'll wash dishes - and when I clean, I think. I process my thoughts. When I'm pressed for time and I have to choose between working out and cleaning, I'll clean, because I 100% believe cleaning is also another form of cardio lol. I'll also volunteer to clean my closest friends' rooms, because I love to see how happy they are when they walk into a neat and orderly home.
Basically, I'm useless in the kitchen, but I'm your girl when it comes to cleaning up.
And I've never questioned this love for cleaning or even gave it more than a second thought, but here I am, writing a Love Letter about it to you guys! And I think He has pulled me to do so because He wants me to understand what a blessing it is to be able to clean, as Rasulullah SAW said in a Hadith, "Cleanliness is half of faith (Iman)". (Muslim)
Think about this: before performing our Solah, we have to clean ourselves by doing Wudhu. And this act of cleansing ourselves have so much meaning and significance, if only we reflect. Allah wants us to meet Him in a purified state, and it is also Wudhu that will allow Rasulullah SAW to recognise us in the Day of Judgement because we will radiate light as an effect of our Wudhu. Rasulullah SAW said, "On the Day of Judgment, Allah (swt) will resurrect my nation among other nations while their faces are white and they are bright and this merit is one of the effects of their wudu". Now, this is what I call a real, literal, legit, "glow up" guys, and I pray that we will all have that radiance on that day, Amin.
Whenever I clean, I always feel like it's a spiritual exercise: as I put things back to its proper place, I realised this is teaching me Adab because Dr. Syed Muhammad al Naquib bin Ali al-Attas defined a person of Adab as she who acts "with justice to ensure that everything is in its right and proper place." It is not the right Adab to have our prayer mat thrown to the corner of a room, or our Quran at the back of a shelf, collecting dust. When I sweep my floor, I imagine myself stripping myself off my worldly attachments. When my home is in order, my heart is less cluttered. Plus there are no words to describe the feeling of smelling freshly dried laundry and plonking yourself on clean fluffy sheets after a long day of work.
And here's the thing, guys... I think we should all be cleaners. Because someone who cleans is not just someone who polishes windows and tidies up the room, but the one who cleans is she who values herself enough to always want to be in a state of purity and cleanliness - a state that Allah loves. She who cleans is someone who not only remove grimes and stains, but she also strives to wash away anger, ill-thoughts and judgements off of her heart.
But most importantly, here's the #1 lesson I've learned from cleaning: nothing starts out dirty or becomes rubbish. It's our lack of care, attention and gratitude that has allowed something that used to be so precious to turn into waste. And that could easily be our hearts, our relationships, and of course, our homes, if we do not conscientiously "clean".
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So yes, I guess if I no longer can write for a living, I'll clean. And I'll keep on cleaning till I can write again because I'm sure the only reason why I won't be able to write is because I've allowed my heart to accumulate dust of insincerity, stains of sins, and blotches of arrogance.
I pray may we always be diligent "cleaners" so that it will allow us to meet our Lord in the most purified, and dignified state, Amin.
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Love always,
A
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